this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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