I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
