ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
