don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
