he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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