Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Don't EVER smell your tampon
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
