Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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