would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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