I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
