Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm just crazy horny about you
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize