Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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