her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
