I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize