I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
