Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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