Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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