Taylor Swift is so right about you.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
