You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
