Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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