I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
