The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
