Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
okay pat passed out under dana's car
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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