I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
