Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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