Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
