"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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