I'm lost and stupid without you.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
