I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
