the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She told me I should be a condom model.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
