My first STD was from a foam party
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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