are you still at the devil's house?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
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Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
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Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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