Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize