Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
