i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
