i think my mom watched the whole time
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
