i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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