My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
