i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
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I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
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But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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