That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
