So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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