We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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