I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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