I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
