i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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