last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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