I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
