Don't you send me to vm
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize