Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
