Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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