Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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