tell your sister to shave her snatch
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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