I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
