so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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