also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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