No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
