WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
and you fell through a lawn chair
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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