I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
